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Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Subject:nick
Time:10:26 pm.
Case Number: 09-02195
Name: Nicholas James Zagunis
City of Residence: La Mesa
DOB: 02/21/1987
Gender: Male
Place of Death: 7800 block of Miramar Road, San Diego CA
Place of injury: 7800 block of Miramar Road, San Diego CA
Date/Time of Death: 10/25/2009 1:33:00 AM
Date/Time injury: 10/25/2009 0120
Summary: The decedent was a 22 year-old single White male resident of La Mesa. On 10/25/09, he was an unrestrained rear seat passenger and one of three persons in a 2002 gold Chevy Avalanche pickup truck traveling westbound along the 7800 block of Miramar Road. For unknown reasons, the driver of the pickup lost control of the vehicle and it left the roadway. The vehicle mounted the curb along the right shoulder and struck an electrical box, the side of a building, multiple trees, and came to rest in a parking lot of a business complex. The decedent was ejected from the vehicle.
Cause of Death/Updated Cause of Death: Multiple blunt force injuries
Contributing Conditions: No
Manner: Accident
Investigating Agency: San Diego Police
Next of kin notified? Yes

this has got me really fucked up...fuck
i always felt that we would see each other again, and get to talking and he would be doing amazing... guess not
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Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Subject:well, well
Time:12:50 pm.
still disillusioned, though no longer unemployed... so yay for that. being a delivery driver is much more stressful than i first thought, but it pays quite well and it is enjoyable, so that's cool. plus working at a bakery turns out to be way cool, at least to me. it's like living ace of cakes, which would totally cause eddie to groan, if he heard that but it's nontheless true.
the weather has been ridiculously nice as of late, cool and cloudy and then slightly sunny, swoon.
speaking of swooning, if everything works out, which i'm not sure it will, but heres to hoping. i will be in seattle in early november, sooooooo excited!
end communique
-amanda
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Sunday, August 30th, 2009

Time:11:33 pm.
well hello livejournal...
it's been some time. disillusioned and unemployed, make for emo journal entries... so i'm not gonna really make one. but updated userpic means perhaps i will soon... hopefully it won't be depressing, but one can't be sure.
-amanda
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Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

Time:12:09 pm.
it's been sooo long since i posted anything. just thought i would post something for shits and giggles. so much shit, too much to post. i might come back to this though. doing some posting, being emo. i miss it a little :)
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Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Subject:college living?
Time:10:38 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
how does one tell, when someone is a friend. especially when i have little to no social skills, and lack any sort of perception. i can be funny, and somewhat insightful. but i don't know if i know how to connect. i think i just miss people, even if it's just by a little. i don't expect much, probably less than i should, i just don't know something, i just think i'm missing something.

anyway that wasn't suppose to get all angsty, just thoughtful.

i've been watching the l word, does that mean i'm finally becoming a legitimate lesbian??

finals are coming up, and i'm feeling somewhat overwhemled, but not really.

i'm just looking forward to alot of things coming up soon.
-buffy reunion
-the spill canvas concert
-boston

i've been fantasizing about boston, just to get away, not that i feel like i need to getaway, but just being away. across the country in a city i love. with people that barley know me, i really feel like i am stepping out of myself. like i'm taking a risk, and i'm not a risk taker. i have an aversion to change. but this just seems exciting.

anyway i feel restless, and anxious, and probably a few other things, that i can't describe right and probably never could, because i don't know how. but in a badish-good/great way.
-amanda
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Thursday, February 7th, 2008

Subject:BUFFY
Time:3:30 pm.
Woo and I think I'm going to add in a little bit of Hoo. Minna being the slacker/ best girlfriend ever, she is, didn't go to class so that she could simultaneously use our three compys to acquire for me tickets to the Buffy reunion panel at this year's Paleyfest. I'm super stoked. Almost the entire cast will be there. It will be heavenly. i will now go back to intermittently swooning.
-amanda
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Sunday, October 28th, 2007

Subject:FIREFLY!
Time:11:47 pm.
went to a firefly/serenity convention yesterday and today in burbank. it was awesome! most of the man charcters were there. spent a ridiculous amount of money on a ridciulously cool poster/banner/entire wall covering. had a really really great time.
alan tudyk is a really awesome guy.
-amanda
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Sunday, October 21st, 2007

Subject:whoa
Time:11:51 pm.
Mood: calm.
it seriously seems like fire extravaganza in LA, three major fires on the news tonight. one in sd too, but more by the boarder, so not near anyone i know, but the ones in LA are kind of serious. pepperdine was evacuated, that's scary, but it seems fine here in pomona. its not even windy, so that s good. though ontario is closer than i'd like. we'll see what happens.
-amanda
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Thursday, August 30th, 2007

Time:1:10 am.
i can see that moment when she's shouting into the phone in anger, hate, and spite, i can play it back to myself, in my head like it just happened, i don't think i could forget if i tried my absolute hardest, and i've got a few good ideas in how to stop thinking about it, and then when she slams the phone down the world shatters and i can feel it tear into me and all i can think about is that we can never be past this. it's been well over a month and things have changed and we've changed in ways that can't be explained only felt and i feel hers all too acutely and i can't feel his at all. and i don't know if i could describe how unchanged i feel. and i'm scared for him, and i feel like i shouldn't be excited about leaving because they'll tear each apart if i'm not there to intervene, but god help me i can't wait to escape her and all the anger and the all consuming bitterness she feels. i know if i don't think about it, i don't have to deal with it, and right now that's whats most important.

there are those times when it's like i never changed and then it all come back at me and i can't imagine that'll ever be the same.

sure there's plently of shame and more shame, and i'm already awkward enough, and then there's pity and sarrow and this feeling like someone reached into your chest and squeezed your heart and lungs and there's a tightness and it's almost a good thing because then i know that i'm feeling something, and that has to be better than nothing at all.
then theres the wondering at what people must think of you, what is going on in the heads of people she carelessly told, right in front of you. i feels like she told everyone she possibly could and it's hard to figure out how she manged that when you can't stand to think about it for too long, let alone tell the people you love and trust most in the world.

but then you get wrapped up in the littel things like what you're gonna need for finally going off to college, and the mundane stupid things you do day to day. then you remember you haven't spoken to him for a while, and then this happens but you still think that you should go get coffee or something, to pretend things are normal for a little bit longer, or for at least as long as things can be.

you never really blamed anyone, but you can't help thinking that this is all his fault but everyone's been so unhappy for so long that this almost feels like you should have seen it coming. it's hard to be a family when the four of you can't be in a room together for very long before the tension becomes unbearable, an dyou have to get out.

when everything shattered and the world seemed so unreal, do you think that all the pieces can ever be found? do you think that they'll ever fit like they did before? or will things be left unwhole and broken and always a little (a lot) off?

Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

Subject:it's good to be...me
Time:3:32 pm.
Mood: nerdy.
okay so alot has happened this summer, not all of it good, but alot of it.
firstly i went to comic-con it was more than i could have dreamed, i met joss whedon the man i own my internet obession to, the man who created buffy, angel, firefly, and so much more, he is the nicest man and really funny, then minna and i saw his panel (swoon), then we went ot the once more with feeling buffy sing-a-long, imagine 500 buffy fans singing to the show, i was in love with everyone of those people for those 45 minutes.
anyway, i moved to alpine, that was less fun, it's okayish now, basically the stuff i'm taking to school with me is at my mom's apartment and i sleep at minna's, it's like i have no home, technicaly i'm homeless, it's mildly frustrating actually, but it could be worse.
and the lastest and greatest development, Consuela, has arrived!!, she is the lastest addition to my little mac family, she is beautiful. i love her and guadalupe and ezperanza they are some of the most beautiful women i know.
minna turns 20 tomorrow, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETS! i hope she likes my present.

i think that is it...
amanda

pee ess
i got into on-campus housing at cal poly, so that is way way exciting and stress relieving

also my nerd rating has shot through the roof, basically im excited about it, minna jsut has some more stuff to bee ashamed of
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Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

Subject:belated YAY-ness
Time:3:22 pm.
-I got into Cal Poly.
-I'm really looking forward to moving out of my parent's house, I never thought it would take me so long.
-I finally bought a jacket that I had been coventing for about six months.
-Minna and I spent a day in LA for our 3 year anniversary, I was amazing!
-The school year ends in like two weeks, and everything is falling into place very nicely, better than the last three semesters, so that is exciting.
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Thursday, April 5th, 2007

Subject:Cal Poly
Time:1:18 pm.
Mood: bitchy.
Cal Poly still hasn't told me if I'm accepted or not and it is seriously becoming unhealthy. It wouldn't break my heart to know that I didn't get in, I just want to know for certain. I mean I would really like to go there, they have a great geography program, and it is a pretty good school, but I mean I like where I'm at and San Marcos is definately now my comfort zone, but really I mean CAl Poly said they would let me know in the begining of March. Hello... it's April. Whatever, I'll still continue to patheticly log in to there site just to be told that my application is still pending. The suspense is slowly driving me nuts.
BLAH!
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Sunday, February 18th, 2007

Subject:life
Time:10:37 pm.
Mood: amused.
just a quick update:
-i made the dean's list last semester (YAY!!)
-for valentine's day i took Minna to Disneyland, she loved it
-lately i've been feeling really artisic, and some good stuff has been produced

anyway thats it
-amanda
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Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Subject:this isn't like me at all
Time:1:16 pm.








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Sunday, November 12th, 2006

Subject:cal poly
Time:11:54 pm.
Mood: mellow.
this weekend i visited cal poly pamona with minna and im seriously considering transfering there.
-minna will be there
-it would allow me to major in geography as well as history
-it would be like i was really in college and not some demented form of high school
-polytechnic sounds so impressive
-they have ostriches, which are dinosaurs on some serious drugs
-as sad as this may seem its away from everything i know, not that far but far enough
-i will have to find a new job as quickly as possible and having to find a job makes me nervous
-i will have to take out loans for living, indebtedness scares me alot
-living with minna scares me alittle

its not set in stone, i haven't even applyed but i figure i would probably get in and then i really will have to make a decision.

i want to study abroad and transferring makes that hard.

it hard for to decide what to major in. i've havent been one not to know what i want to major in. history has been my major the whole time. right now its history and women's studies. if i transfer i will change that to history and geography. but i hear about all these interesting majors that i want to do but, i don't think colleges let you go to school for 10 years while you take all the classes you need for your 7 majors. so im having trouble with that.

and i want to do things but im also trying to focus on school and not spend all my time fucking around with drawing and painting. thats not going to be a career for me and i don't want it to but at the same time i want to just mess around with that and not my homework.

this entry sounds alot more depressing than i wanted it too, but oh well.

all and all im doing good. im doing better on my essay writing got my first a on a paper, all my other papers have been b's so that was exciting.

anyway...
amanda
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Thursday, October 19th, 2006

Subject:arggh
Time:1:00 pm.
Mood: stuffy in the nasal region.
later on today im meeting up with this girl that i went to middle school with to eat sushi and shoot the shit with her and her friends...im hoping it goes well. im giving up CSI tonight for it. also if it is really awkward and uncomfortable then it would be a total waste of time.

other news...well i wish i had other news.
...
...
oh i do have other news, i've recently started doing the ny times crossword puzzle, im absolutely horrid at it, but it's slightly amusing to do and once there was a harry potter clue. that was awesome. also LOL was the answer to a clue yesterday.

anyway thats all
-amanda
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Monday, October 2nd, 2006

Time:3:49 pm.
Mood: a little bouncy.
A book that changed my life: Harry Potter, more than any other book, it has brought out the uber-geek in me that was only waiting for a book like this to release her.

A book I would take with me if I were stuck on a desert island: A really really big book. Something I would never read otherwise.

A book that made me laugh: Don't Sleep With Your Drummer

A book that made me cry: Winter Eyes

A book that I wish had been written: Everything Amanda Every Wanted To Know

A book that I wish had never been written: I can't say that there was any book I wish had never been written, but there are a few of books I wished I had never read.

A book I’ve been meaning to read: My Bondage, My Freedom by Frederick Douglas

I’m currently reading: A Basque History of the World
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Thursday, September 28th, 2006

Subject:oh the joy!
Time:8:48 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
lately the ramirez family has been in utter hell.
everything is fucked and messy.
shit.
we pretend to go along like everything is fine. like arlend isn't missing and my dad is perfectly heathly.
but at the same time, we can live like people should be able to live in their own homes, without the fear that all your shit is going to go missing or get messed with. it nice, in an odd way.
fuck it.
amanda
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Wednesday, August 30th, 2006

Subject:do your knees go weak when i simply speak?
Time:2:07 pm.
Mood: content.
some fun things
-i got SCUBA certified, its really amazing. now minna and i can go SCUBA-ing together in La Jolla. and i can take cool underwater myspace pictures in my extremely unflattering wetsiut and SCUBA gear...YES!!

-school started, i think i might want to change my major to geography (you can actaully major in geography, how cool is that!!) school looks good, im really excited about 3/4 of my classes so thats a plus.

-i just had a subway sandwhich, it was really tasty

-minna got her lip pierced, and it looks really sexy

not so fun things
-i really really really need to clean my car out

-i really really really need to clean my room

-my brother is an ass

amanda

pee ess
i totally got a straight boys number, and he gave it to me! this just goes on to prove how amazing i am as a human being and a sex symbol.
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Wednesday, July 26th, 2006

Subject:GAY!!!
Time:9:03 pm.
Mood: mucho depressed.
lance bass of n*sync fame...GAY!! no!!! he was my favorite. while everyone was pining over jt and jc i loved you lance and you betrayed my love by being one of them!! though this could explain my own gayness.

n*sync made me gay!!
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LiveJournal for fuckupadult.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.